PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Love and Marriage", 1955, Cahn and van Heusen, performed by Frank Sinatra, also Peggy Lee and Dinah Shore.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January 2016. To return to the corresponding post on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" (and to see the lyrics without the chord-chart indications) click HERE.
Humor is likely still the best medicine,
even for retired physicians.
PROSTATE CANCER
(to the tune of “Love and
Marriage”: indentations at beginnings of lines flag the syncopation.)
Strange behavior, prostate cancer
Danger lurking down there in your pants, sir?
Age-effect? guys wondered;
So, “Yes”, you’ll have it at one hunderd.
(bridge)
Most such tumors
are just harmless
‘Cancer in situ’ [1]
You’ll kick can from other
cause, yet
Con...cept might befright you.
If you’ve got 10 years to
squander
These are treatment outcomes
you should ponder:
No spread when detected -
Five-year survival’s not
affected!
(But) Certain cancers are
bad actors
Younger age and bad genes
are risk factors
Yet we’ve got the greatest,
For early pick-up: PSA-test [2]
(bridge)
Try set frequency
and onset;
Screen to detect’em.
Current guide adds DRE [3] -
that’s
.... Finger-up-rectum.
DRE and PSA-test
If they’re worrisome you’ll
face the next step
To resolve the issue
Your doc will want to get
some tissue.
Cut and cure my prostate
cancer?
Ask your Uro, he’ll provide
the answer.
Positive biopsy –
Might turn your life-plan
turvy-topsy.
Plan for treatment and
prognosis
That depends on what your
Gleason-score [4] shows
“Six” - equivocation
You might pick watchful expectation.
(bridge)
Sigh! Why try avoid? Decide [5], if
You’ve drawn a “Seven”.
There’s no call for you to
bawl
Or .... pack bags for Heaven.
If it’s surg(e)ry, I’d
subject me
To a retropubic
prostatect(o)my;
Radical excision
Routine or high-tech [6] - your
decision.
Kids, I’m betting on the
cure–oh!
So I’m heading home to see
my Uro
As I told your mother,
“Four decades passed, they
went by fast,
Four decades passed, let’s
spend ano-o-other.”
Readers are advised to
inform themselves to the extent possible, and
then discuss the many issues
involved with their health provider. Excellent online material is available at
the American Cancer Society website.
[1] cancer 'in place', which has not invaded locally or spread beyond the prostate gland.
[2] Prostate-Specific Antigen; a protein which leaks into the blood at a rate proportional to the activity of prostate cells; frequently used to help detect and monitor cancer.
[3] Digital Rectal Examination by your urologist, or other doctor - not pleasant, but important.
[4] a measure of the abnormality in cell-type on either biopsy or surgical specimens, on a 10-point scale, based on the 2 most abnormal patterns found within the gland.
[5] at this stage, treatment is usually recommended to eliminate all prostate tissue. Surgery is the more common choice, but various forms of radiation (external beam or implantation of radioactive beads) have also been used.
[6] recently, high-tech variants (laparoscopic and robotic surgery) have been developed, but their additional benefit is incompletely proven.
HOTLINKS TO OTHER MEDICAL-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
Prostate Cancer (see below)
...AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)
C#7 = 1112; Adim7 = 2323; F7+5 = 2110; F6 = 2213
