Uke-Song, Scandal in SC: "PALACE of MALICE"

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "Tea for Two" 1925,  as recorded later by Doris Day
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, August 2013.


The South Carolina press has intermittently reported ongoing developments in a case of this type. Fortunately, the "hit-team" came to the attention of the police before intense harm was done.

PALACE OF MALICE

(to the tune of "Tea for Two")

Singable Introduction:
Pictures – “View upon page two”
Our Daily News with sleaze imbued;
We cluck and rue a couple’s fall from grace.
Who craves such depravities?
A poisoned slough, attorneys braced;
Why must we face domestic life debased ?

Weird entertainment – A pending arraignment,
Apprehent at an upstate resort.
Murder for hire? - Who’d think he’d conspire
While still settling his child-support?
Far from the exec-lounge glitzy;
Where Bank-Pres ritzy his mess disowned.
The spouse estranged, figuring that he’s deranged,
Had foul back-up schemes of her own.

Incompati - bility,
Just rancor and antipathy,
Just I sue you, and you sue me for spite;
Vendetta vicious, menage meretricious,
No conciliator, “it’s hopeless – I hate her”
We’ll publicly launder, parental rights squander, dear,  hear?

True intractability,
Just perverse animosity,
Just I stalk you, you threaten me for spite;
Spy-camera eyefuls and legal reprisals,
We’ll start with court orders then call in reporters
An overseas split, man, or hire me a hitman; Right? man?–

Scandals break, tabloids impart
You'd undertake death do us part 
The front-page scoop for everyone to read..
You've a sleazy live-in friend
Who'd bar  no holds for your revenge, 
Next nesting spot - the penitentiary !

Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook !
Corktunes: Palace of Malice

F#m7 = 6600

Dm7           G7          Dm7        G7    
Pictures – “View upon page two”
        CM7   C6              CM7         C6   
Our Daily News with sleaze imbued;
        Dm7        G7       Dm7      G7            Gm6   A7    
We cluck and rue a couple’s fall from grace.
Dm                 Gm6       Dm  A7        
Who craves such depravities?
    C#dim      Dm            C+          Fm6      
A poisoned slough, attorneys braced;
         F               G7          Dm7  G7      C      
Why must we face domestic life debased ?

C                    G7                  C                 F6  
Weird entertainment – A pending arraignment,
C         Dm7           G7              C      C+     
Apprehent at an upstate resort.
Am               Em7                  Am7                 Ddim
Murder for hire? - Who’d think he’d conspire
           Am               Em7               Am
While still settling his child-support?
Dm7                G7                   C
Far from the exec-lounge glitzy;
             Em7            Ddim      F              C          Dm7 
Where Bank-Pres ritzy his mess disowned.
C                         G7                  C6                   F 
The spouse estranged, figuring that he’s deranged,
G7    C                      Dm7            G7   C
Had foul back-up schemes of her own.

Dm7    G7   Dm7G7    
Incompati - bility,
         CM7     C6        CM7 C6    
Just rancor and antipathy,
        Dm7   G7           Dm7       G7        C      C6
Just I sue you, and you sue me for spite;
F#m7        B7               F#m7         B7
Vendetta vicious, menage meretricious,
       EM7  E6              EM7               E6             
No conciliator, “it’s hopeless – I hate her”
           F#m7   B7                 F#m7            B7              G#m    C7
We’ll publicly launder, parental rights squander, dear,  hear?

Dm7     G7       Dm7G7    
True intrac- tability,
        CM7         C6  CM7 C6    
Just perverse animosity,
         Dm7    G7           Dm7         G7        C      C6
Just I stalk you, you threaten me for spite;
F#m7             B7                 F#m7     B7
Spy-camera eyefuls and legal reprisals,
          EM7                     E6                  EM7       E6             
We’ll start with court orders then call in reporters
          F#m7   B7                    F#m7       B7          G#m    C7
An overseas split, man, or hire me a hitman; Right? man?–

Dm7         G7             Dm7     G7    
Scandals break, tabloids impart
           CM7   C6                 CM7   C6   
You'd undertake death do us part
        Dm7            G7              Dm7  G7        Gm6    A7    
The front-page scoop for everyone to read..
Dm            Gm6    Dm      A7        
You've a sleazy live-in friend
           C#dim    Dm           C+         Fm6      
Who'd bar  no holds for your revenge,
         F              G7            Dm7 G7    C      
Next nesting spot - the penitentiary !

Related Palindrome:

Murder for a jar of red rum.

Golf? No sir, prefer prison flog.

Headachy French Plural Nouns: MAUX--DE-TEXTE

PARODY-LYRICS,  see also the previous posts on this blog.

ORIGINAL SONG: "Do-Re-Mi", Rodgers and Hammerstein 1959, performed by Julie Andrews and the cast of "The Sound of Music".

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, December 2014.

French Version of the Musical

MAUX-DE-TEXTE

 (to the tune of "Do-Re-Mi")

Let's start with French plural noun endings

It's a place to exert finesse,
To easy ones you just add an 's'
For others you may need to guess.

Think of 'x' - plural 'x'.
To avoid vexatious maux de texte
Think of 'x' - plural 'x'.

A few, a crew, a slew, beaucoup. 

(Spoken) Let's see if I can make it 'x'-y (rhymes with sexy)!

Joujoux - they're often soft and doux

Poux  - louse, plural, not so nice

Genoux - to kneel on both your knees

Bijoux - the slang is 'bling' or 'ice'

Hiboux - so unlike 'ox' or 'fox'

Choux - for cabbage in kings' stew

Cailloux - a slew of river rocks
That will bring us back to doux

Trous, clous, sous, fous, bayous, voyous! 

When you pluralize your nouns,
Mostly you don't change their sounds.
(Repeated by Maria while the children parade and sing the next verse)

Yeux - weird plural form of 'eye'
Chevaux - with riders à cheval
Travaux - projets où on travaille
Fataux - mot fautif for 'fatals'
Roux - a single type of sauce
Voix - for chorus or solo
Toux - for one or all the coughs,
 That will  bring us back to faux!

Yeux (oeil), fataux, roux, voix, toux - faux !

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

Uke-Song: Gene Cuisine,: STEM CELLS, DON'T LET YOUR DAUGHTER-CELLS GROW UP AS MEATLOAF

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys", 1975,  (covered by) Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, August 2013. 

STEM-CELLS, DON’T LET YOUR DAUGHTER-CELLS GROW UP AS MEATLOAF
(to the tune of "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys") 

 

Intro:
Cowboys have shortened lifespans, and unhealthy lifestyles -

They won’t heed diet or pills, yet give you their smiles.

Smoking in pool-rooms and tinned sloppy-Joes and a breakfast of chicken-fried steak

They won’t understand cloning, why the dogies have gone - 

 Steers and cowboys may both fade away.

Cow-cells in vitro don’t moo, but they ain’t hard to clone.

Myocytes [1] can be lined up, much like neurons or bone.  

Conveyor-belt ‘Dolly’s, on packing-house trolleys might frighten consumers like you.  

PETA surely will grouse if calves have to die young

To make BSE-free [2] beef Ragú.

Stem-cells, don’t let your daughter-cells grow up as meatloaf;

Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,

Make them be sirloins or prime ribs ‘au jus’.

Stem-cells, don’t let your bovine genes morph into burgers;

They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by

Lovers of côtelettes-de-veau.

Foodies like trendy new bistros and fresh local produce

But this Steak Tartare from the lab shouldn’t get 'em uptight.

Abattoir workers feel threatened,

But coliform runoff and tainted meat lessened,

'Gene cuisine' - it’s all protein; for the future a blessing

To feed 8 billion souls every night.

Stem-cells, don’t let your offspring get smothered in goulash;

Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,

They’d feel more ‘mignon’ as prime ribs ‘au jus’.

Stem-cells, don’t let your progeny flower into burgers;

They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by

Lovers of châteaubriand.

[1] myocyte = (isolated) muscle cell

[2] BSE = bovine spongiform encephalopathy, “mad-cow” disease




Performing Notes

Enjoy chord-charts and lyrics at the Corktown Ukulele Jam songbook:
Corktunes: Stem Cells.....

[C] Cow-cells in vitro don’t moo, but they ain’t hard to [F] clone.

[G] Myocytes  can be lined up, much like neurons or [C] bone.  

Conveyor-belt ‘Dolly’s, on packing-house trolleys might [F] frighten consumers like you.  

PETA [G] surely will grouse if calves have to die young

To make BSE-free beef Ra[C]gú.

[C] Stem-cells, don’t let your daughter-cells grow up as [F] meatloaf;

Don’t [G] let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,

Make them be sirloins or prime ribs ‘au [C] jus’.

Stem-cells, don’t let your bovine genes morph into [F] burgers;

They’d [G] sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by

Lovers of côtelettes-de-[C]-veau.