SILLY SONGS and SATIRE: Singable Limerick-Medley: NUCLEAR CARDIOLOGY

Monday, 30 October 2017

Singable Limerick-Medley: NUCLEAR CARDIOLOGY

Post #154:
This entry is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Michael Freeman, a nuclear cardiologist with a great sense of responsibility and pride in his work, and a wonderful sense of humour. Please see the relevant blogpost on "Edifying Nonsense" .

SINGABLE LIMERICKS

LIMERICK VERSE: Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, and compiled in November 2017. Many of the poems have been published at the OEDILF website (the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form) by Giorgio Coniglio, 2016-2017. The OEDILF identifying number (#) and the Author's Note accompanying each poem, where relevant, are shown following the first verse of each poem.
ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.

CONTENTS:

1. Technetium Generator

2. Dipyridamole (Persantine) Stress

3. Dobutamine Stress

4. Gated SPECT

5. Ejection Fraction

6. Myocardial Ischemia

7. Anthracycline Cardiotoxicity

NUCLEAR CARDIOLOGY

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(to the tune of "The Limerick Song")

1. In this snowbelt it seems like a folly:
Winter weekends, we're shipped ‘Mother Molly’.
She decays on her column in our ‘hot lab’, so solemn,
She's our 'workhorse' by gosh and by golly.
Early morn, we assist her ablution:
Shed technetium by saline elution.
With her daughter in hand we'll get many folks scanned.
Book your test at our health institution!

2. The Bruce treadmill test starts out real slow.
If you're fit, through three stages you go.
But you puff and you snort, yet your heart rate falls short —
Can't inject and then image peak flow.
You're in luck! In the Nuclear lab,
Dipyridamole vials we can grab.
Not dependent on rate, they just vasodilate,
But next week: hit the gym, work off flab!

3. Here's my view - it can't be overstated,
"The dobutamine test's overrated.
Viz. most patients feel worse (frequent symptoms adverse) -
Versus tests where they're vasodilated."

4. The technique ECG-gated SPECT
(Image-test heart consultants select)
Shows contraction, perfusion, counters treatment confusion;
Helps decide if your heart muscle's wrecked.

5. Re your damaged left ventricle's action:
We have measured its strength of contraction.
Volume end-diastolic shrinks with effort systolic;
Our report cites % change, not fraction.

6. Let's get Isaac's ischemia assessed;
Have him pharmacologically stressed.
During vasodilation can we show limitation
Of perfusion that's normal at rest?
In the zone Ike's bad vessels subserve,
Do collateral channels preserve
Myocardial flow? If the answer is "No",
He might angioplasty deserve.

7. It seems grossly unfair, diabolic,
To inhibit your function systolic.
Drugs and dose are selected to leave you protected:

Chemo treatment's a risk — life's no frolic.