Singable Limerick-Medley: THE BAD BOOZE CHRONICLES

Post #153: Singable Limericks 

LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, October 2017. The assigned OEDILF designation following editing and acceptance is indicated below the first verse in each vignette.

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here. 

CONTENTS: 

1. Methylated Spirits

2. Moonshine Whiskey
3. Work-in-progress: Verses on absinthe and Jake leg will eventually appear on this page. 

THE BAD BOOZE CHRONICLES

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(to the tune of "The Limerick Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.)

1. Fateful day, Seth felt high on his luck;

Found a case from an overturned truck.

Bottles labeled 'wood spirits'; way Seth tells it, I hear it's

Like vodka's taste. Doesn't that suck? 

  So, Seth gathered some sodas for punch,

Told his hobo friends, rounded a bunch.

They met there in the park a few hours after dark.

What was coming? — They hadn't a hunch.   

    At that party, denaturant methanol

Caused grave illness in our blind pal Seth, an' all

His hard-drinking friends, who met premature ends:

That's the nature of 'DE-natured‘ ethanol.

2. Moonshine makers can cover their tracks.

They succeed and dodge Revenue tax.

Hidden stills in the hills give your organs the chills.

Poisoned victims? There seem to be packs.

    ‘Whiskey Rick’, sleazy liquor creator,

A dialysis roster inflater: 

His stills leached metal solder; his ‘hooch’ spewed toxic fodder,

Damaged kidneys will fail some years later. 

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT 

 (Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Singable Limerick-Medley: TRAVELS IN GREECE

POST #152: Singable Limericks, Ukulele-Ready 
This blogpost is dedicated to R.H., with best holiday wishes, December 2017.

LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio,

August 2017. Many of these verses can also be found in OEDILF, the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form.
ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
WORDPLAY LINK: On our sister blog "EDIFYING NONSENSE", these poetic reminiscences can be found in two collections, entitled "Verse for Excursions: The Greek Isles", and "More Verse for Excursions: Crete and Athens".

CONTENTS:

1. Acropolis

2. Cruising the Cyclades

3. Cretan Salad

4. Chania, Crete

5. Kri-kri, the Cretan Goat

6. Approaching Santorini (Thera) 

7. Santorini Wines

8. Evzones

TRAVELS IN GREECE

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(to the tune of "The Limerick Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 

1. We're the columns of Athens' Acropolis;
We stand solemn atop our cosmopolis.
Yet four centuries past: The Turks' magazine -  Blast!
Morosini from Venice did topple us. 
      Then our town suffered depopulation.
We awaited reglorification.
Worse, our Marbles were lost —A calamitous cost
Of the dangers of colonization.
    Our great temples they're slowly restoring,
We're historic and Doric, and soaring.
Enter 'Gate of Beulé ', walk Athenian Way;
There's no person on earth finds us boring. 

2. Here's to cruising the breezy Aegean
(Charters pricey, though wind-power is free). An
Excursion ecstatic 'round the circuit Cycladic:
Praising that's why I'm writing this  paean.
    See grand Ándros and islets quite teeny,
Oía sunsets on old Santoríni,
Náxos, Mýkonos, Délos, Sýros, Sérifos, Mílos;
Wondrous beaches, so pack your bikini.
    Beaufort 7 is eastwardly blowin’
Past these isles filled with relics Minoan.
Modern Greeks stay in touch in remote locales; such
Is their culture — pervasive, Cell-phoan.

3. A critique that will make you my debtor:
Hortatiki in Greece, salty feta?
Try the fresh Cretan cheese; their myzithra will please. 
Salads eaten on Crete - So much better! 

4. While St. Mark's regal Lion held sway,
Western Crete's hub was named 'La Cane-
-a'. To make no deletions, Turks then routed Venetians —
Modern Greeks call Chaniá theirs today.
  But Minoans had settled 'Kydonia'
(Yes, our knowledge of that might be  phonier);
B.C.E. 69, Rome attacked; town did fine.
I've gone trekking there; now I'm much  bonier.

   Cretan gorges can boast terrain striking,
Not too dry, and some shade, to your liking.
It's today's outdoor rage; join with George on this page. 
Grab your boots and your poles for some hiking.

5. I'll invoke ecologic critiquery:
Cretans hunted, with sheer hide-and-seekery,
In crevasses on Crete, kri-kris' hides and their meat
Today refuges prize their uniquery.

6. As Canucks approach Thera by boat,        
They’re amazed; local hosts sometimes  gloat, 
 “That bright snowlike ledge, the caldera’s white edge --
 Sea-view villas, no icefield”, they note.

7. Santorini makes famous sweet wines;
Strange growth habit – Assyrtiko vines.
On a near-rainless isle, a volcanic rock pile;
Dew collects where each plant intertwines.
      Vines survived the horrific explosion, 
Barren soil and intense wind erosion.
Vineyards (no trellis used) look untended, abused.
But Vinsanto's a sought-after potion.

8. The Evzones, Greek President's Guard, 
Standing watch in the Parliament's Yard,
With Grand Change -- martial beat,
Stamp the ground with right feet,
Then stand totally still — Must be hard!
   They maneuver adeptly, so deft
In strange uniforms drawn from the klepht;
And each strutting fella wears a kilt, 'fustanella' —
Pleats record when the Ottomans left.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

 (Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

tourists, agog

Our boat approaches the pirates' island of Gramvousa,
site of a Venetian fortress near Balos Beach, Crete

Singable Limerick-Medley: LITERARY CLASSICS

POST #151: Singable Limericks 

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio,

August 2017. Some of these verses can also be found in OEDILF, the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form. Access numbers for the OEDILF versions are located at the bottom of the relevant slides.

CONTENTS: 

1. Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

2. Inferno (in translation) *

3. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

4. The Raven *

5. La Belle Dame Sans Merci *

6. Jabberwocky *

7. Trees **(Joyce Kilmer)

*     see the post on "Edifying Nonsense" - Classic Poetry (scheduled for publication April 2019)
* *  see the post on "Edifying Nonsense" - Sappy Verse: Limericks About Kilmer's "Trees"

 
LITERARY CLASSICS

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(to the tune of 'The Limerick Song'. Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.) 

1. Our hero, poor Hamlet's ill-starred.
Why 'bear fardels'? The choice isn't hard.
Prince's folks are such odd kin, he'll select the bare bodkin.
This play's now too short! Blame the Bard.

2. Extending his cellphone's antenna,
Dante dialled from dark woods near Gehenna,
"I need Virgil as guide. Get me out, ere I'm fried."
Year and place? 1300, Ravenna.
    Overhead a celestial plea,
"Beatrice, pick up the call on Line Three:
This guy claims, lost in Wood, GPS is no good;
Wants a tour-guide or refund of fee.“

3. Twain read Mallory's legend Le Morte...,
 Dreamed mechanic named Hank to transport.
His Connecticut Yankee lived life strange, but quite swanky,
As court's "Boss" out-charmed Merlin  for sport.
Things turned out not so well, I report.

4. There's an author whose works I abhor.
They explore only terror and gore.
So, Poe's verses? I'm loath to repeat what he quoth,
And to utter "Lenore" evermore.

5. My heretical view: Seems to me,
It's grotesque, just a bad rêverie.
Errant knight, lance down, caught in a child's 'elfin grot',
In John Keats' "La Belle Dame Sans Merci".

6. To frabjously deal with the Jabberwock
Keep your vorpal sword close in its scabbard-sock
(He'll distract, turn your crank some, 'cause down deep, he's most
   manxome);
To sneak up on the beast, do a badger-walk.

7. Poems are joys; you recite and repeat ‘em,
But in life, one thing surely can beat 'em:
Trees, as Kilmer conceived, and good dryads believed -- 
Check that out at the right arboretum.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

 (Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

Singable Limerick-Medley: USING GREEK WORDS

POST #150: 
This blogpost is dedicated to Bob H., with best holiday wishes, December 2017 (updated October 2018).


SINGABLE LIMERICKS

ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio,

November 2016. Most of these verses can also be found in OEDILF, the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form at OEDILF.com

SONG-LINK: You might also be interested in the swing-era iconic hit "Latin Cat's Strut"
CONTENTS:
1. The prefix dys-
2. Dyspareunic
3. The prefix epi- 
4. Epistaxis
5. The prefix eu-
6. Euphemistic
7. The prefix chiro-
8. The prefix auto-
9. The prefix apo-
10. Neologism: dyscoprotaxis 
11. The prefix chrono-

USING GREEK WORDS

A LIMERICK MEDLEY

(to the tune of 'The Limerick Song'
Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.)

1. You’ve discovered the Greek prefix dys-,
And discerned things have gone quite  amiss.

There’s dyslexic – can’t read, and dysphagic – can’t feed, 

And dysuric – too painful to piss.

2.“Dyspareunic? Not now”, she asserts

(We’re in bed after eating desserts).
But the wrong kind of moan is invoked and so (groan!)

There’s no “cuddling” on nights when  she hurts.  

3. Epic use of the Greek prefix epi-
Episodically pleased our Giuseppe.

An ephemeral high, from ephedrine is why,
At times schleppy, I'm now feeling peppy.

4. In your plans to advance, stay on track, Sis.
Peccadilloes throw projects off-axis.

Spurn distracting events with bad consequence hence,

As in punch-in-the-nose: epistaxis.

5. You’ve encountered the Greek prefix eu-,
'Well' or 'good', like the carpenter’s ‘true’.
Nothing hyper- or hypo-, not even a typo,   

So, Eureka! There’s nothing askew.

6. Euphemistic, we say, “diarrhea”
(What runs through). Ancient Greeks would agrrhea –

Details best left unsaid. But when you’re “out of bed”,   

Don’t trot back to that same trattoria.

7. Now, chiropody handles your feet,
Treating corns, warts and bunions: its beat.
Chiropractic’s assignment is your spine’s realignment. 

While chirography: handwrite, repeat. 

8. To authentically author a motto
Is a task that with dangers is fraught, oh!
Self-assurance you seek, be it Latin or Greek,
Self-aggrandizement? Do it with auto-
   You're self-taught, so you're autodidactic
It's your maxim with purview galactic.
Your self-love's automatic, your disdain's autocratic;
Self-indulgent, you're auto-climactic.  

9. Start your words off in style. A-P-O-,
A Greek prefix that's so apropos.
"It means 'off' or 'away', an apology, say,
Ask Apollo; he's likely to know.
    Think of apogee: Gee! Hold that mirth;
That's how Greeks say "away from the Earth".
And an apotheosis?  (Could be just my neurosis)
I would give such a person wide berth.

10. When chaotic disorder attacks us,
Peccadilloes throw projects off-axis.

We’ll not sit there and dither; we’ll get our sh*t tog*ther,

Or we’ll suffer from dyscoprotaxis. 

11.The Greek prefix chrono- rhymes primely
With sono- and phono- sublimely.
Here's my point pedagogic: that a scheme chronologic
Sorts events in an order that's timely.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)