Kokomo Revisited: Nifty Ways To Leave Your Mukluks

POST #73
PASTICHE of 2 ORIGINAL SONGS: parodysitism??

RECIPIENT SONG (music): "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover", Paul Simon, 1975.

INVADING SONG (lyrics): words and themes borrowed liberally from "Kokomo" 1988, as performed by the Beach Boys.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February, 2015. 

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, modernsong, parodysitism

Imagine that Paul Simon sang about a mid-winter  escape to the Beach Boys' mythic Caribbean destination of Kokomo; with a nod to recent weather reports. 

NIFTY WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR MUKLUKS

(to the tune of "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover")

“Your problem is worsened by this nasty winter freeze,

Let's get away to moonlit nights off the Florida Keys.

We’ll defy gravity, perfect our chemistry;

There are some nifty ways to leave your mukluks”.

She said, “Escape it all for a great place to go.

And by jet we’ll get way down there fast, then we can take it slow,

Everybody knows a dreamy place like Kokomo –

There are some nifty ways to leave your mukluks.”

Nifty ways to leave your mukluks.

All-inclu’ in Aru’, Lou

Bake in Jamaic’, Jake

A month in Bermud’, dude

Just get ourselves warm.

Few weeks in Baham’, Sam,

Don’t need lots of lead-time,

Mellow Montego, Joe

No snow – Largo Key.

       

Feel mystique -  Martinique, Zeke
Glimpse Port-au-Prince, Vince

Survey Montserrat, Matt

Bodies in hot sand.

Lounge in St Kitts, Fritz

Rhythm of a steel-drum band

Hop bars in Negril, Bill

And get yourself tanned.

She said, “It peeves me so, car battery has died.

And our street has not been plowed so all you’d do is slip and slide."

I said ”Snow day -  there’s little open, so nowhere else to ride –

Back to those nifty ways.”

She said, “Let’s try a snowy afternoon delight

Then we could drink some hot toddies and dream of those tropic nights.”

And because I kept on shivering, I called to book a flight,

I yearned for nifty ways to leave my mukluks.

Tour the bay by kayak, Jack

Get a new tan, Stan

Cruise to St Croix, Roy

Get keen on Holguín.

Surf Los Cabos, Gus

Don’t need skates or puck much

Explore cays and keys, Lee

mukluks -  seldom thought of
 as sensuous

Just pack your sun-screen.

Scuba-dive off Arub’, Stu

Flake in Jamaic’, Jake

Swim nude in Bermud’, dude

Live what Beach Boys sing.

On lam in Baham’, Sam,

No need to trudge slush much

Just toke in Mo'Bay, mam'

A 'Kokomo' fling.

Performing Notes: 

Only a few harder chords here:
G6 = 0,1,0,1; FM7 =2,4,1,0 (5,5,0,0 will also do it) ; E9 = 1,2,2,2; G#dim7 = 1,2,1,2; Eb6 = 3,3,3,3

[Am] “Your problem is [G6] worsened by this [FM7] nasty winter [E9] freeze, [E7]

Let's [Am] get away to [G#dim7] moonlit nights [B7] off the Florida Keys.

[Am] We’ll defy [G6] gravity, per[FM7]fect our chemis[E9]try; [E7]

There are some [Am] nifty [Dm7] ways to leave your [Am] mukluks”.

All-inclu’ in [C] Aru’, Lou

Bake in Ja[Eb6]maic’, Jake

A month in Ber[F7]mud’, dude

Just get ourselves [C] warm.

Few weeks in Baham’, Sam,

Don’t need lots of [Eb6] lead-time,

Mellow Monte[F7]go, Joe

No snow – Largo [C] Key.

A Selfie: That's Your Forte

POST #72
PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "That's Amore", Dean Martin, 1953.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February 2015.



Explanatory Notes: 
As in Dino’s original, there are only a few Italian words you need to learn.
Forse = maybe, perhaps; dal cuore = from the heart.

THAT'S YOUR FORTE

Dominion Hotel,
painting: David Crichton

(to the tune of "That's Amore")

INTRO (Tremolo)
In old T.O., where Queen meets King,
On Wednesday nights, here's what they sing...

When they asked you to play, you accepted half-way

Thatsa forse.
(Maybe thatsa new word, but it shouldn’t be slurred
Say it ‘for-say’)

You begin, everyone joins in, forty players sing,
Strum their strings - Ukuleles.

Dominion  Hotel,
 photo 1945

Tune they’ve heard, new satiric words, slides display the chords,

They’re observed chortling gaily.

When you strain to play loud to be heard by the crowd

Thatsa forte.

What your uke-friends expect - in old lyrics inject

A new twist.

When the word-play you’ve subbed rings out in that old pub

Dal cuore,

You’ve invented, you see, ‘Strum-Along Parody’,

That’s your forte.

meeting of theCorktown Ukulele Jam

ORIGINAL SONG 

(click on any slide to enlarge and arrive in thumbnail mode for singalongs on your computer or phone!)  

Paean to Courageous Parodists: Stealthy AIR-Space Man (Poules Mouillées)

POST #71
PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Secret Agent Man" recorded by Johnny Rivers, 1966.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January 2015.

KEYWORDS: songwriting, goldenoldy 

Explanatory notes: 

nom-de-guerre (Fr) literally war-name, is the equivalent of  pen-name or pseudonym.

plume (Fr) - it is important to note that plume can mean either pen or feather. In current English nom-de-plume is used as a sophisticated term for pen-name, (but Victorians sometimes also used the term nom-de guerre). 

poule mouillée (Fr), literally wet chicken, is the slang equivalent of wimp.

satire (Fr)– same meaning as in English, sounds almost like sad tear.

satyre (Fr) -  pronounced identically, means sex-maniac, flasher (original term is derived from the satyr, a mythical Greek half-man/half-goat).

AIR or A.I.R. - insiders' name for a web-site AmIRight.com, which publishes parody-song lyrics.

STEALTHY AIR-SPACE MAN

(to the tune of "Secret Agent man")

There’s a barnyard filled with free-range spoofsters
Some young, some dead, most old; few hens, most roosters
As critics they take aim
No guts to face the blame
So temporary chicken-names they borrow.

Stealthy AIR-space man

Stealthy AIR-space man

You’ve typed your daily nom-de-plume; you’re hidd’n by chicken-names.

Playing golf – no spoofs to slay on Sunday.

Slinging vitriolic comments Monday.

You cluck and peck and call us dopes,

While trashing creative hopes

With pseudonymic chicken-names you borrow.

Stealthy AIR-space man

Stealthy AIR-space man

You’ve typed your daily nom-de-plume; you’re hidd’n by chicken-names.

The French provoked, invoke their noms-de-guer-re

They’re fierce, so in both tongues you need bewa-re

Word-pair satire/satyre - 

Best get the meaning clear,

Or you may face épées at dawn tomorrow.

Stealthy AIR-space man

Stealthy AIR-space man

You’ve typed your daily nom-de-plume; you’re hidd’n by chicken-names.

We all feel we should honor our French cousins,

The sad events have set the planet buzzing.

Whatever else you say, can’t call them “poules mouillées” (wimps)

We hang our heads and contemplate in sorrow.

But that AIR-space man

Stealthy AIR-space man

He’s typed his daily nom-de-plume; he’s hidd’n by chicken-names. 

Tribute to "A Man Without a Country": Vonnegut

POST #70
PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Imagine" by John Lennon 1971.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January

2015. 

Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007, was known as a pacifist intellectual, humanist, and accomplished writer; his popular novels including 'Slaughterhouse-Five' according to Wikipedia, "blended satire, gallows-humor and science-fiction".

As a tribute I created a complete list of KVs books within the confines of the tune of "Imagine"; there are some awfully good titles. What could be said that would summarize KV's humanist philosophy better than the compelling lyrics of the original song? And Lennon's title "Imagine" also seemed pretty apt to characterize KVs fiction.

VONNEGUT

(to the tune of "Imagine")

Kurt wrote “Player Piano”,
“Cat’s Cradle”, “Deadeye Dick”,
“Sirens of Titan”,
“Galapagos”, “Slapstick”,
“Canary in a Cathouse”,
“Timequake”, “Palm Sunday”.

Kurt wrote “Breakfast of Champions”,
“’Tween Time and Timbuktu”,
“Fates Worse than Death” and “Happy
Birthday for Wanda June”,

“Welcome to the Monkey House”,
My fave - “Slaughterhouse-five”

We might think he’s atheistic,
Though some titles invoke God *
- Bitter, tender, humanistic,
Traits today we find so odd.

Kurt wrote “Wampeters, etc”,
“God Bless You” – R. and K. *,
“Jailbird”, “Bagombo Snuff Box”,
“Mother Night”, “God’s Handshake”,
“Hocus Pocus”, “Bluebeard”, “A
Man with No Country”.

We might say he's a dreamer
In the limits of this rhyme - 
I hope someday he'll join us,
His spirit "unstuck in time".

* “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater”, “God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian”, “Like Shaking Hands with God”. 
Note that a few of the titles were changed slightly to fit the pacing. 

Rigoletto Updated: Dawn and Her Mobile-Phone

POST #69
PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "La Donna È Mobile", From Rigoletto, Giuseppe Verdi, 1873.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January, 2015.

KEYWORDS: opera, classicsong, diet-and-health 

DAWN AND HER MOBILE-PHONE

(to the tune of "La Donna È Mobile")

Dawn had her mobile-phone
Ringer turned off t'nite
SUV out of sight,
Kids left at home alone.

Not in the neighborhood
Checked with her relatives
 - Reason she always gives, 
"You men screwed up good." 

Dawn had her mobile-phone
Ringer turned off t'nite
SUV out of sight
Kids left alone
Kids left alone
Ey-ey ey-ey, kids left alone. 

Misery is my lot,
Trusted her analyst,
Her medication list
Just won't mix with pot.

Yet one can't give up hope
Of happiness restored;
She'll come back when she's bored
And smoked all her dope.

Dawn had her mobile-phone
Power turned off once more
She'll come back when she's bored
And smoked all her dope.
Smoked all her dope
Ey-ey, ey-ey Smoked all her dope.



Performing Notes: 

[C] Dawn had her [G] mobile-phone
Ringer turned [C] off t'nite
SUV [G] out of sight,
Kids left at home [C] alone.

[C] Not in the [G] neighborhood
Checked with her [C] relatives
 - Reason she [G] always gives, 
"You men screwed [C] up good." 

[D] Dawn had her [G] mobile-phone
[A] Ringer turned off t'nite
[G] SUV [C] out of sight
 [F] Kids [C] left [G] a-[C]-lone
 [G] [C] [F] Kids [C] left [G] a-[C]-lone
[G] [C] ey,ey [G] [C]ey,ey [F] kids [C] left [G] a-[C]-lone. 

[C] Misery [G] is my lot,
Trusted her [C] analyst,
Her medi[G]cation list
It just won't mix [C] with pot.

[C] Yet one can't [G] give up hope
Of happi[C]ness restored;
She'll come back [G] when she's bored
And smoked all her [C] dope.

[D] Dawn had her [G] mobile-phone
Power turned [A] off once more
[G] She'll come back [C] when she's bored
And [F] smoked [C] all [G] her [C] dope.
[G] [C] [F] Smoked [C] all [G] her [C] dope
[G] [C] ey,ey [G] [C]ey,ey [F] Smoked [C] all [G7] her [C] dope.