Uke-Song, Enhanced Nutrition by Guest-Parodist Al Silver: "WHOLE FOODS"

POST #110

PARODY-LYRICS: GUEST-ARTIST

ORIGINAL SONG: "Blue Moon" 1934,  Rodgers and Hart, covered by Billy Eckstine, Mel Torme, Frank Sinatra, The Marcels etc.

PARODY-LYRICS COMPOSED: Al Silver, January 2013, copied here with permission, and with a few minor changes. Al has been a frequent contributor to the AmIRight song-parody website.

You can view Al's delightful lyrics along with some commentary (without images or chords)  displayed on that website at AmIRight.com Post "Whole Foods"
Check out post #25 Feb 2014, post #100 Oct 2015, and post #104 Oct 2015, for other great parody-lyrics by Al Silver.

WHOLE FOODS

(to the tune of "Blue Moon")

Whole Foods
You saw me sickly and thin
Without a blush on my cheek
Without a glow to my skin.

Whole Foods
You knew you just had to heed me
You saw the way you should lead me
And had the health food to feed me.

And then I saw there was a cornucopia
Of all the nuts and grains I could consume
(I know I have to use the rhyme “Utopia”)
And when I ate, my cheek began to bloom.

Whole Foods
Now I’m not sickly and thin
Without a blush on my cheek
Without a glow to my skin.

I ate organic goat cheese and quinoa
Wheatberry, kale, seaweed and tofu, too
Some dingleberries shipped fresh from Samoa
And pomegranates flown in from Peru.

Whole Foods
My LDL is now 5
Systolic down to 16
I think I’m barely alive.

Whole Foods
My LDL is now 5
I have a blush on my cheek
But I am barely alive.

A cornucopia

Performing Notes

C6 = 0000; Dm7 = 2213; Ab = 5343; Bb7 = 1211; Eb = 0331
        
Whole [C6] Foods [Am] [F]
You saw me [G7] sickly and [C6] thin [Am] [F] 
Without a [G7] blush on my [C6] cheek [Am] [F]
Without a [G7] glow to my [C6] skin [Am] [F] [G7].

...

And then I [Dm7] saw there was a [G7] cornu[C6]copia [Am]
Of all the [Dm7] nuts and grains I [G7] could con[C6]sume
(I know I [Ab] have to use the [Bb7] rhyme “U[Eb]topia”)
And when I [G7] ate, my cheek  be[Dm7]gan to [G7] bloom. [G7+5]

A Reggae Uke-Song: F.O.P - SHOP WINE

POST #109

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG : "Red Red Wine",  Neil Diamond 1968, covered by the reggae band UB40, 1983, with addition of a "toasted" rap section.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

 In my province of Ontario and a few other Canadian provinces, licences are granted to shops which allow customers to make their own beer or wine "for personal consumption". These stores are generally referred to by the public as "wineries" or "wineshops", but the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario who regulates these outlets, refers to the stores as UVin or UVin/UBrew, and to the process as FOP (ferment on premises). Some customers who have appropriate space and ambient conditions in their basements prefer to buy equipment and kits for FAH (ferment at home). I personally have been an enthusiastic user of FOP for 15 years, (although I must admit that I have seldom referred to it by this term). 

FOP-SHOP WINE

(to the tune of "Red Red Wine" - reggae version by UB40)

FOP-store wine 

wine kits for sale
in an Ontario store

My kind of sh-o-o-op 

They take my credit card 

Do all the wo-o-ork.

FOP-shop wine 

Add yeast to mu-u-ust 

Then when my batch is done

Remember to sho-o-ow

Must schedule to show.

I’ll get called - 

Bottling time

Box up thirty that you’ve cleaned

Labels choose

Shrink-wrap tops

After using cork-machine.

The FOP process

FOP-shop wine 

Save half the co-o-ost

Take up no basement  space

Yet fill home wine-racks

Pay no high tax.

(the "toasted" rap section as per UB40 version) 

 FOP-shop wine, you help reduce the cost

Keep me from feeling me money is lost

FOP-shop wine, you make me feel so grand

We host lots of parties 'cause I’ve always wine on hand

FOP-shop wine, when you’re gone you make me think

Empties need washing in the basement laundry sink. 

FOP-shop wine, I can get to where you are

Boxes in a taxi, when I’ve broken-down old car.

FOP-shop stores, Canucks call them UVin

Personal consumption is seen as no sin. 

Some province license UVin and UBrew
(Brew-shops in the USA who'll do your wine are few.)
FOP-shop wine, might be in your neighbourhood

Quality can vary, but most kits are quite good.

 Twenty years - a few bad bottles, five or six

Never short of holiday or birthday gifts.

 F-O-P means "ferment on premises"
Lots of varieties to please your picky missus
FOP-shop kits always come from foreign lands
Must be some reason local growers not at hand 
FOP-shop kits which we'll really like I know
Aussie shiraz, French or Chilean merlot
Need no special gear, technique's not too hard
Fermentation start by stirring with your credit card.

Reprise: final verse

(FOP.......tax)

staff workspace
in a UVin/UBrew shop

Fade

HOTLINKS TO OTHER CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS

An Alien Heading South

Big Rob Rehab Clinic

Canadian Reunion

Canoeing Lesson

I've Got Anagrams, Eh?

Flight of the Loonie

FOP-Shop Wine (see below)

Mergerwocky

Off-Patent Drug #19

Prattle of New Orleans

Suburbs' Guy

The Maple Leaf Ad Infinitum 

This Land Has Anagrams 

TTC Voices

Vancouver's Isle

..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS

Shania Twain's "Verse": An anthem for limericists

Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)
Limericks About Chemainus, B.C.

UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

This is a great place to practise the reggae technique of banging the ukulele (with your thumb) on the on-beats, and strumming (backwards direction) on the important off-beats.

 

Breaking up is Hard #2: I'm Gonna Survive

POST #108

ALTERED SONG-LYRICS: parodysitism (see explanatory note below). 
RECIPIENT SONG (music): "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)", The Proclaimers, 1988.

INVADING SONG (lyrics): "I Will Survive", Gloria Gaynor 1978
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, mishmash, pairody

A major way to have fun with songs is to insert lyrics from one into the musical backdrop of another. As discussed in the previous post, a good analogy is that the lyrics and theme act as an invader or parasite, taking over the music and pre-empting the message of the “recipient” or “host” song. PARODYSITISM is a neologism mixing the concepts as well as the sounds of parasitism and parody. Examples under the heading "Breaking Up Is Hard" demonstrate how songs about the ardent phase of love/relationships can give way to a more difficult phase in their life-cycle. 

Other examples of PARODYSITISM  (search this site by "mishmash") include... 
Ochi Chornye (brown-eyed girl), Saturday Night as Sung by Beatles, Carolina: A Redawning, Starry Notions, Those Were Our Trains, Budapest Is So Fine, The Budapest Banana-Boat Song, Nifty Ways to Leave Your Mukluks, Bob Dylan Sings Cole Porter, and The Burning Grapevine 

I'M GONNA SURVIVE

(lyrics of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” -with modification, to the tune of The Proclaimers’ “I’m Gonna Be - 500 Miles”)

I

I was fearful, at first I was petrified,

Thought I’m never gonna manage without you.

I kept thinkin', that without you by my side,

Never gonna  learn to be somebody new.

Many nights spent, thinking how you did me wrong,

Feeling sorry for myself because of you.

I’d been chained up, didn’t know I could be strong    

Just a little person still in love with you.

I should have changed the front door lock

Or made you leave your stupid key

I’d have never guessed -  it’s quite a shock! that you’d,

Be back to bother me.

Here I find you - you’ve come back from outer space

But there’s gonna be no welcome here for you

You just dropped in, with that sad look on your face

Hoping I’d lay down and crumble just for you.

I tried hard to, mend the pieces of my heart

And now you just expect me to be free

All my strength used, to avoid falling apart,

Now I’ll save my love for one who’s loving me.

Now you should go, walk out the door 

You’d tried to hurt me with goodbye

I’ve got all my life to live and love to give,

I’ll hold my head up high.

Fa-da–la-dah (fa-da–la-dah); fa-da–la-dah (fa-da–la-dah)

I know I’ll stay alive, I will survive.

Lay down and die? (lay down and die); oh no, not I (oh no, not I)

I know I’ll stay alive, I will survive.

(Repeat 2^nd verse)

Go on now, walk five hundred k
And then walk several thousand more.
Just leave me your key, walk far away
And never drop in at my door.

Fa-da–la-dah (fa-da–la-dah); fa-da–la-dah (fa-da–la-dah)

I know I’ll stay alive, I will survive.

Lay down and die? (lay down and die); oh no, not I (oh no, not I)

I've got all my love to give, I will survive. 


Performing Notes

 G5= 0235; C = 5543; D = 7765

I was [G5] fearful, at first I was petrified,

Thought I’m [C] never gonna [D] manage without [G5] you.

I kept thinkin',  that without you by my side,

Never [C] gonna learn to [D] be somebody [G5] new.

Many nights spent, thinking how you did me wrong,

Feeling [C] sorry for [D] myself because of [G5] you.

I’d been chained up, didn’t know I could be strong    

Just a [C] little person [D] still in love with you.

I [G5] should have changed the front door lock

Or [C] made you leave your [D] stupid key

I’d have [G5] never guessed -  it’s quite a shock! that [C] you’d,

Be back to [D] bother me.

Fa-da–[G5]-la-dah (fa-da–la-dah); fa-da–la-dah (fa-da–la-dah)

I [C] know I’ll stay a[D]live, I will sur[G5]vive.

Lay down and die? (lay down and die); oh no, not I (oh no, not I)

I [C] know I’ll stay a[D]live, I will sur[G5]vive. 

Uke-Song, Breaking Up is Hard, #1: "THE BURNING GRAPEVINE"

POST #107

ALTERED SONG-LYRICS: parodysitism 
RECIPIENT SONG (music): "Light My Fire", The Doors, 1966, as covered by Jose Feliciano.

INVADING SONG (lyrics): "I Heard It Through the Grapevine", Motown Records 1966-1968,  as performed by Marvin Gaye etc
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, mishmash, pairody

A major way to have fun with songs is to insert lyrics from one into the musical backdrop of another. This pastime has been referred to as “mishmash”, “smoosh”, "pastiche" or “contrafactum”. In my view, a good analogy is that the lyrics and theme act as an invader or parasite, taking over the music and pre-empting the message of the “recipient” or “host” song. PARODYSITISM is a neologism mixing the concepts as well as the sounds of parasitism and parody. These examples under the heading "Breaking Up Is Hard" demonstrate how songs about the ardent phase of love/relationships can give way to a more difficult phase in their life-cycle.

THE BURNING GRAPEVINE

(to the tune of "Light My Fire" – Feliciano version)

I bet you’re wondering how I knew;

It took me by surprise, I’ll say

Your plans to cheat and make me blue - 

I only found out yesterday.

Just about to lose my mind, 

Not much longer you’ll be mine - 

Heard it through that old grapevine.

A man is not supposed to cry -

You could have let me know yourself;

Tears I can’t hold back inside

They say you’ve found somebody else.

Just about to lose my mind

Not much longer you’ll be mine

Heard it through that old grapevine.

They say, of what you see, half’s true

You can’t believe the things you hear

I can’t help bein’ so confused

If I’m to go please tell me dear.

Just about to lose my mind

Not much longer you’ll be mine

Heard it through that old grapevine

Heard it through that old grapevine.


Performing Notes

Intro: Gm7 Em7 Gm7 Em7

I [Gm7] bet you’re wondering how I [Em7] knew;

It [Gm7] took me by surprise, I’ll [Em7] say

Your [Gm7] plans to cheat and make me [Em7]blue - 

I [Gm7]only found out yester[Em7]day.

[F] Just about to [G7] lose my [C] mind [Am] [C] 

[F] Not much longer[G7] you’ll be [C] mine - 

[F] Heard it through that [Em7]old grape[D]vine.